Breaking Up is Hard to Do…
I didn’t think it would come to this. I did everything I knew how to do, but I discovered that he had a problem with commitment.
So I had to end the relationship.
It wasn’t easy for either of us, but it had to be done.
Commitment is everything.
Especially in coaching relationships.
He originally came to me to overcome a personal hurdle, but the reality is, he really didn’t want to overcome it.
He wasn’t committed. He was stuck in a different kind of way.
A subconscious behavior called secondary gain.
Secondary gain is when you get a positive benefit from negative behavior.
Have you ever known a smoker who knew all the risks of smoking but couldn’t seem to give it up? One of the reasons for this is secondary gain.
The perceived positive benefits of smoking outweigh the benefits of quitting.
Here’s an example of what they may be feeling:
When they smoke, they feel connected socially, they have a feeling of peace and calm, and maybe there is a positive memory of a friend or loved one that is attached to the behavior. Does that make sense?
In essence, the secondary gain is nothing more than a lie that we chose to believe at some point.
In the same way, this now ex-client had a tremendous amount of gain from staying where he was, so he wouldn’t commit.
Without commitment, we can’t have a relationship.
Here are a few of the things that are absolutely necessary in order to have lasting change.
They are vital to your transformation.
You can’t go from confusion to clarity, frustrated to fulfilled, and stuck to unstoppable without them:
1. You must be honest about where you are. Have you been able to reach the goals that you want to meet? How has this been a problem for you? How long has this been a problem for you?
2. You must want things to be different. What would life be like if (fill in your problem) was no longer a problem? What goals would you be able to accomplish? What relationships would improve?
3. Commitment – you knew I was going to say this, right? The previous 2 steps are a natural lead into commitment. Are you uncomfortable enough with where you are that you are ready to commit? Why are you choosing to change it now?
If any of this resonates with you, then I’d love to go on a “date” with you to see if you might be a perfect fit for one of my programs
Obviously, it’s not a real date, in fact, it’s a Discovery Session and it is the “first date” in the journey of working with me.
In this free 45-minute session, I’ll help you identify where you are, what’s stopping you, and what you can do to fix it. We’ll discuss what solutions are available that will get you the best results, fast.
You can access my calendar in the info here.
To your TOTAL Success,
When you are ready, here are a few more ways I can help you overcome what’s holding you back:
1. You can check out my podcast: ,Mind for Success. This podcast is for high-level business professionals,
leaders, and entrepreneurs who want to break through barriers and have massive success in their businesses. I interview other business professionals, leaders, and entrepreneurs who share their success stories with you.
2. You can Download the FREE PDF: How One of my Clients went from Zero to Over $1 Million with One Shift. In this guide, I share the 3 step process I took with this client and his amazing results. Click ,here to download.
3. Book a FREE Discovery Session:
You can book a call if you want to learn more about my Rapid Results Programs. I have one-on-one, semi-private, and group plans available.
During this complimentary session, we will:
- Identify what your specific needs are
- Identify what problem or area you want to focus on
- Discuss what we can do to fix it so that it doesn’t keep happening
Go to my calendar here: ,https://calendly.com/kim-lebbing/discovery-session
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